20 Miscellaneous, Unprioritized, and Unasked for Pieces of Wisdom


Maggie Stiefvater, Human Spider1. Hang paintings at eye level.

2. Use vinegar on jellyfish stings. Don’t pee on them. Unless you’ve been drinking vinegar.

3. When lost in a city, follow the direction of the heaviest traffic; it’s usually headed to the city center.

4. Sage is the Thanksgiving spice. When you want to make that Typical Thanksgiving Gravy, it’s sage. I swear it.

5. Sean is pronounced the same as Shawn. Seamus is Shamus. Sinead is Shin-ade. Celt always has a hard C, like cotton, unless you’re talking about a sports team, and I have no idea why you’d be doing that.

6. Your dad told you, and I’m telling you again: turn in the direction of the skid.

7. If you feel tired after drinking coffee, drink a glass of water at the same time.

8. The reason why your skin looks funky is because none of us wash our faces enough. SCRUB, dammit. No, you don’t need soap. Just get that dead stuff off, for crying out loud.

9. If you need the meat of a nonfiction book in a hurry, read the first chapter and last chapter. If you have more time, the first paragraph and last paragraph of each chapter. If you have even more time, first sentence and last sentence of each paragraph. That’s the point of it. The rest is just proof.

10. Hank is short for Henry. Chaz for Charles. No, I do not know why.

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Thursday, September 27